Do not miss me

By Eronie Kamukama

Do not miss me my friend because u were never there

I implore you not to miss me when am gone
Do not even try to miss the sound of my fruity voice on your phone
Or the sincerity and audacity rooted within the rib tickling texts i sent you
Do not pick that telephone and call me
For i will not be able to hear your honeyed words
They will only fall on closed ears

Do not miss me i tell you
Do not even try to come to the airport
Or wave at me as i clean the fog off its window
Do not follow me later on check in near my university dorm
For i will be busy grasping community development models
Do not publish that highway billboard proposal
For my emotional reserves are completely depleted

Do not miss me
Do not especially when my candle is almost burnt out
Or ask me if your time with me is up
Do not bring me apples in the hospital
For my flaky hands will not be able to hold onto it
And my throat will be too sore

Do not miss me
Do not, particularly when i have met my heavenly Master
Do not dress in your black Paris suit and come to my funeral
Or wear your black shades and pretend to mourn
Do not buy daisies and come to pay your last respects
For i will not hear your dead voice

Do not miss me i order you
Just remember the name Eronie
And nothing beyond my baby laugh under the sun

Why I detest men in grey cars

By Eronie Kamukama

grey ama carHe was dressed in a shirt, shorts and African shoes. He looked like a man in his early 40s. He had parked his grey Ipsum car in front of my father’s shop and started calling out for customer care.

read newsFor five minutes I did not notice that there was someone who wanted to buy something because I was reading a newspaper while listening to loud music.

The shop had been open for three hours and no one had come to buy anything and at the sight of this man, I was very excited that I finally had a customer.

“Hey there, I have been calling you but you are not hearing me. You must be really be enjoying your music, huh?” He said.

“Yes, I am and sorry about that, I did not see you coming in. So how can I help you?” I asked.

“Where is your father? I have not seen him in a while,” He asked.

“And who are you and how do you know my father? I asked.

“I am your father’s close friend and I am called Nsaba. I work at the supermarket down there,” He replied.
During this time he was looking carefully at the things in the shop.

“So what time will he be back today because I have been away in the village and I have not had time to talk to him since I came back? I saw him yesterday at around 8 pm but we did not talk,” Nsaba said.

“Come back at that same time and you will find him right here,” I told him.Nsaba gets out of the shop but when he was about to leave he changes his mind and re-enters the shop.

Trouble started when Nsaba said,

“By the way, I have something coming up at home and I think since you have sodas, I should take some crates with me. I need to know how much you sell them for starters,”

I told him that each crate was 19,000 but that I was not sure about it and that I had to first call my father to confirm. At this point he disagrees with me on the price.

“No way, your father said that it is 17,000. How come you have increased the price? But anyway go on and call him but he will tell you the same thing that I am telling you,” He said.

man with cratesNsaba then suggests that in the meantime he would be putting the crates in the car boot. I tried to call my father to ask him whether he knew this man who by then had convinced me to give him the phone so he could talk to “his friend”.

However, my father did not pick up the call even when I kept on redialing his number.
“If he is not picking then calculate the amount so that I can pay you,” Nsaba said.

By then, he had put six crates of soda in the boot and as I was calculating the money, Nsaba drove away. He drove off with six crates of soda, six-crates-of soda and he had not paid a single coin.

As I was still looking on, a neighbor of mine asked whether I knew him and if he had paid. I replied in the negative and she yelled that I had been conned. “Omusajja akkubye, takomawo.” Milly said. This literally meant “the man has stolen soda from you.”

I felt my skin peel off at the sound of those words. I could not believe it and Milly quickly suggested that I should get a Boda Boda and follow him. There was no motorcycle and so I started running as fast as a deer until I met a woman with a car and asked her for help.

“No, I have a baby in the car so I cannot help you.” The woman said.

I started running again and found a Boda Boda, jumped on very fast as I told the cyclist what had happened. After a ten minute ride, the cyclist assured me that there was no way we could find that man and that I should go home instead.

Deep within me I knew that he was right but I just did not want to accept the fact that he was gone and that I had been conned. My eyes started to tear on my way home.

I just broke down when I looked at the place where the crates had been.

angry girl“I felt the world crushing on me, the once blue sky looked grey and my heart was filled with a lot of anger. I kept on wondering how stupid I had been not to see the hell that I was getting myself into.”

The most annoying part is that I then called my father and he picked up after the man had gone! I wished he had picked up then! I had been conned by a man my father never knew. He had lied to me about everything, I am sure even his name. I closed the shop and walked to find solace but every man I saw in a grey car looked like a thief.

Ever since that day, my sentiments about men in grey cars have not changed; I detest them because I always think that that might be another conman. As for my customers, I have learnt not to be nice to people, I am always thinking that if I had been tougher, he could have run away without anything.

However, a friend of mine says that that is the world we live in now and I have now accepted.

The Man by the roadside

By Eronie Kamukama

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He sat on the bench along the East-West road, his hair wet, his hands shaking, his eyes red, his face wrinkled and his body cold. He had been sitting at the roadside for four days and he seemed not to be moved by anything around him.

His name was Jamie Roland but people preferred to call him Jay. He was famous in town because he was social, always happy and funny. I always opened my window in the morning just to get a joke from Jay because he would make my day, little did I know that I was falling in love with him.

I could see the glow in his eyes too whenever we talked. He would talk to me softly and I would wonder where in the world such a man had been hiding. He was honest, humorous, intelligent and kind.

One day, Jay hit the nail on the wall and told me that he was in love with me. I knew that I was head over heels in love with Jay but I could not bring myself to accept the fact that I could love another man after Ricky, my high school sweetheart.

I had sworn never to allow any man to say those sweet nothings to me. I knew that the magical words would get to my head but not to my heart

When Jay mentioned those powerful three little words to me, I just pushed the door behind him. I left him outside in the coldness and I knew I had crushed his heart because I told him I could not love him back.

I felt my eyes tearing when he said that I would be the last woman he would ever love and that if I let him go, I would never see him again.

His words pierced through my heart but I had to let him go. That was the last time I saw Jay’s smile and then I knew sadness had engulfed his warm heart and happy face.

I kept on telling myself that sometimes we love but we have to learn to let go too.

The unknown future

By Eronie Kamukama

Sometimes, I do not understand. Life seems very empty and I do not know how to make it full. It is as if my life is falling apart and I am getting scared each day that goes by.

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The truth of the matter is that I am frightened by life’s challenges, true that I fear to face the tasks ahead of me. I am afraid that life may not turn out to be easy.

I am scared of what the future holds for me, this is the unknown future.

 

What is ahead of this life is something that I cannot predict. I do not know what will happen today or tomorrow. This is what scoops out all the hope and faith in my heart and fills it with fear, worry and sadness.

I see people around me, some smiling, some laughing and others sad. However, I still feel alone and I wonder when I will feel the presence of other people, people who are full of life and love.SD GAL

Sometimes, I feel very angry because life is not moving in the right direction; the way I would want it. This keeps me wondering if the rest of the future will be spent in anger.

I keep on asking myself why I cannot act right but then I ask myself why I should act right yet other people do not see any good in me.

They never appreciate so they always look out for the faults. They pretend not to see the good things because if they did, life would be much easier in the future and we would live in harmony.

Why do other people’s bad deeds have to take away the little happiness left in my life? I am not that righteous, I might be some steps away from being good but I am trying my best to make things even when hope for a better tomorrow is slowly fading.

Sometimes I want to cry but I cannot because I want to hold back the tears. It is not about being emotional but someone cannot know what kind of pain one is going through until they feel it themselves.

crying-girlI feel as if I am being pushed to the edges of the world. I am about to fall off the train because I do not want to reach my unknown destination

Sometimes I want to laugh but the huge lump in my heart will not let me. I just wear a faint smile so that I do not show everyone that I am being pushed against the walls and everyday they are crumbling to pieces.

As I all but fear, I ask God to give to me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can and wisdom to know the difference so may be one day I will be a better person.

When one day all my worries, fears, sadness, anger, hopelessness and weaknesses fade into thin air, I will get back my peace of mind and heart, clear conscience, pride, hope, faith and self-acceptance.

As of now, I want to deal with today’s problems and not try to solve all life’s troubles at once. I am on a journey whose destination I know not; the unknown future, but I will surely get there one day.